Mom and Me

It was Covid time, and although I had a few loyal clients, corporate coaching was slow. Revenue wasn't awesome. When he died, Dad had left Mom with life insurance proceeds and some reserves, but most of her money and mine was tied up in real estate. Our Bachelorette Pad was a joint project, so we each kicked in toward the down payment. This meant, though, that we had to think through the process of freeing ourselves from our current properties and unlocking some cash. The family cabin was the first to go, sadly. Mom and Dad had just fixed it up a year earlier, with a new roof, fresh paint on the exterior, and new screens on the porch. We loved that cabin, and made so many memories there before and during our children's time with us. BUT both of us were concerned about ongoing maintenance and the aging oak trees that surrounded it. Several trees had fallen while Dad was alive, narrowly missing the cabin.  Also in the maintenance category, there was the required annual shut-off o...

The concept was simple: create a multi-generational living situation that would include Mom, me, and my remaining minor child, who was a high school senior studying remotely due to Covid. My townhouse didn't have enough space for all of us, and Mom's condo didn't either.  We (I) had a few requirements: Single story or two-story with a lift chair. Four bedrooms - one for me, one for Mom, one for my HS senior, and one (or an equivalent space) that I could use for my office. 2-1/2 baths preferred - both Mom and I have hair regimes that consume time and space. This sounds vain, but I'm being real with you here. A safe shower - Mom's condo had only tub/shower combos, and it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to step in and out safely. A fenced yard, or one that could be fenced - we have two dogs, and although I walk them daily, we need to be able to let them outside more frequently without being out in the weather. Mom wasn't - and isn't - able to walk t...

Yes, this post is all about me - fair warning. But it sets the stage for what follows. I've been self-employed since age 33 in an occupation that allowed me enough flexibility to make my own schedule and be there when my two children were small. I've been on my own since 2016, when I left my 25-year marriage. No, there was nobody else. And my ex is my best friend again after a few awkward post-divorce years.   We adopted our kids in our 40s - thus why I've still got the last one in college. Partly because of that, and partly because of the flexibility in my work I'll be keeping my work life going as long as I'm vertical and have my mental faculties intact. I'm the eldest of three siblings. One of my brothers lives two states away, and the other is more than 1000 miles distant from our home town. They have their own lives, one has young adult kids, and each has a set of in-laws with similar needs to our Mom's. So figuring this out was going to be on me. I tal...

Mom and Dad were married for 62 years - plus one day. When they tied the knot, Mom was 18 and Dad was just a couple of weeks short of 20. I was there - but nobody knew of my soon-to-be existence except my parents, grandmother, and maybe an aunt.  This is important for two reasons. First, Mom moved directly from her father's house into the one she shared with Dad. It was the late 50's, and women were to be taken care of. They handled the domestic and child-related duties, and the man of the house took care of everything else. The second reason that this is important is that I was there at the beginning of Mom's adult life. I'm still here, and if I can manage it I will be here until the end. Dad died the day after their anniversary, January 13, 2020, after a 3-year ordeal with myelodysplastic syndrome, a form of blood cancer. He hung on to see their anniversary. We all were there on the evening he died, and I watched Mom sitting with him, stroking his hand while he faded ...